To all of you people requesting dirkjane, i love you. thats my otp

Jane is so cute. Gosh, how did she get this cute? Everything about her is so cute it makes you want to squeal like a fangirl seeing her celebrity crush in person and being able to hug them and touch their face. That is how cute Jane is. 

Today is a special day; Jane came to your place to hang out. You guys are best friends so of course you are both so excited. You both want to share all your hobbies and talk and laugh and have fun. Of course the two biggest events planned are robot-building and cake-baking. Jane is going to teach you how to bake and maybe even cook some basic meals so that you aren’t living on ramen, and you are going to teach her how to build robots like Lil’ Sebastian and maybe even how to use spare parts around the house to make little moving and talking figurines. You can’t wait.

Jane only arrived a few minutes ago so you are still hanging her hat and placing her shoes somewhere (probably a closet). She has already begun making herself at home by going to the kitchen and boiling some water for tea. You both really like tea. 

Once you return to the kitchen, Jane all but pounces on you, giving you a hug big enough to make up for all the time you have not spent together. You hug her back with the same amount of enthusiasm. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t hug you right away. My Dad was there and I didn’t want him getting any weird thoughts. You know—” she covers her mouth. She was about to say “you know how parents are,” but you don’t. Jane stops herself from saying things like that because she is thoughtful that way. You simply squeeze her tighter and whisper “it’s ok” in her ear. 

You let go because this hug is getting a little too long for “just friends” and you can’t blow any chances you have. If someone were to ask you, you would say the hug wasn’t long enough.

“So, shall we get the party started?” You wiggle your eyebrows, while saying this, in a way that makes Jane giggle. 

“Of course!” She grabs your hand and pulls you over to where she left her messenger bag. “I brought cook books and cake mix and even some kitchen utensils! I thought we could start off with baking and, while the cakes are in the oven, work on the robotics end.” Jane is beaming at you and she is just so adorable when she does that. She is adorable when she does anything. 

“Well let’s get to it then.” You allow her to drag you to the kitchen while you are holding her bag of stuff. You lay everything out across the counter in a similar style to when you lay out parts. This could actually turn out well. 

Jane starts ranting about basic cooking rules that she thinks should be followed. Washing your hands often, using a beater when eggs are involved (which is pretty much always), making sure egg shells do not get into the batter, etc. She is very serious about this; You respect that. Jane has you make your first cake from mix as a starter. You are very coordinated, so there aren’t any mishaps. Before you know it, your cake is in the oven. You set the timer to 45 minutes and head over to your bedroom. You keep most of you robotics stuff in your bedroom. 

“Ahh! What in Bobby Flay’s name is that?” Jane yells when she enters your room. 

“Oh, that’s Sawtooth. He’s one of my more successful robots and a killer fighter,” you explain with pride in every word. You’ve worked very hard on Sawtooth. 

She warily steps around him and walks further into your room. She twirls around once, browsing your room’s inventory, and sits down on your bed. 

“So…where do you keep all your robot stuff?” She asks, looking around. 

You grin, bump your elbow against the wall, and look at her. You actually bumped a secret button that opens a vault of “robot stuff.” Her jaw drops and she springs up to examine all of the tools and parts. 

“Whoa,” she says while poking around. “How did you do all of this?” You shrug. She lightly punches your upper arm. 

“We will start out with basics like learning how to use a blowtorch.” You grin evilly as you say this and her face becomes paler. 

“Oh, um…are you sure that’s a good idea? I mean, that seems pretty heavy duty and—”

“It’s nothing,” you interrupt. “I do this pretty much every day; and it’s not like we won’t take safety precautions.” Jane gulps loudly and continues searching through your stash. You scoot in next to her and grab your blow torches and safety gear. You motion for her to follow you and lead her to your work room. 

You set up a workbench, grab some spare metal, and sit Jane down. You hand her all of the safety equipment required and leave her to change into the fireproof clothes you gave her. 

A few minutes pass and she calls for you. “Dirk!” You open the door and go to her. “These are a little big…” 

“Well yeah. They’re mine. I don’t exactly have any made for women.” She makes a guilty face and looks down at her outfit. It’s a long-sleeved, white shirt with stains all over it and a long pair of over alls. There are also tall boots and long gloves. The gloves are the only thing that fit her since you made (yes, you sew) a pair just for her. With all the baggy clothes, she looks incredible cute. Last but not least, you hand her a welding mask. You slip on some overalls over your clothes and put on some boots and gloves.

“Ok, first of all we need to…” You start explaining the safety rules to Jane and the importance of all the gear she is wearing. Then you go into detail on how welding works, what it’s used for, and how to use the blowtorch. She sits patiently a tries to absorb everything you say. She can become so focused. You flash a small smile at her a few different times during your mini-speech to keep the mood from getting too serious and tense. 

Suddenly, a “ding” sound comes from the kitchen. Your first cake is ready.

“Ok, since I went over all the rules and stuff we can go straight to the building and welding after this cake business.” Jane nods and gets up and runs to the kitchen. You follow at your own pace. 

The cakes turn out surprisingly well and you both chomp down on a slice before moving on to more robot business. You begin by showing her how gears work and can make other gears move. You show her how to connect a power source and use that to make gears move. You basically show her a lot about a robot’s innards. Jane manages to create an awkward box that rolls around with buttons for wheels. For a first creation, the way it runs is not that bad. She cheers and you share one classic high-five before returning upstairs for more baking. 

This time you follow a simple recipe and, Jane says, you will be decorating this one however you want. You, surprisingly, aren’t as bad as either of you expected. Jane says that she also wants to teach you how to cook real food so you can live on something other than microwave meals after she leaves. 

You return to more robot stuff. Jane alters her box over and over again until it is a four-wheeled-humanoid-looking-robot. It rolls around and its arms swing forward and back as it does so. It’s insanely simple—or at least it is to you—but you are so proud of her that you hug her tightly and swing her around a bit. She laughs and clutches your arms for fear of falling. You would never let her fall though. 

Now Jane is really excited to make more robots but there is the timer again; DING. You’ve never even heard of her being unenthusiastic about baking. You may have just introduced her into something she will love, but part of you hopes that it is the fact you two are doing something together and that you are teaching her is what she likes about it so much. 

She tells you to follow her upstairs. When you reach the kitchen, Jane turns around and give you a good, long stare. 

“I’m going to teach you how to make some real food while the cake is cooling. This way, you will eat something other than ramen; and it is almost lunch time anyway.”

You stare at her with your “you are insane” face. She waves your face away and starts training you. Moments like this are why you are so glad she is so oblivious. She doesn’t seem to realize how she acts towards you. She stands super close, touches you, guides your arms. She acts lovingly towards you.

You make seasoned chicken sandwiches and eat those before proceeding to more robot work. You are also, apparently, pretty good at cooking. 

When you get back to robotics, Jane gasps. 

“What is it?”

“I forgot about the tea I was brewing!!” she nearly yells. “I need to go boil the water again!!” She runs upstairs, ducking her head in embarrassment. A smirk dances across your face because Jane’s forgetfulness just adds to her character. 

“While you’re up there, grab some needle nose pliers, sand paper, and a saw from my closet,” you call to her. She responds with a “you got it!” and you can picture her giving you a thumbs up even though you have no way of seeing her. 

After hearing some stumbling around and metal hitting wooden floors, you decide to see how she is doing. She probably just dropped some stuff, no big deal. She can be clumsy but you trust her no to hurt herself. 

When you make it to your room, you see her in the floor, surrounded by papers, jaw wide open. She is holding some things you hoped she would never see. 

“D-dirk…wh-what is this?” she asks, he voice shaking. Fuck. Why is she reacting like this? Well you supposed if anyone saw soft core porn of themselves with their friend—and drawn by that friend to make matters worse—they would freak out. You hoped this situation would never have to occur, but it has already. You need to save your skin here!

“Okay, don’t freak out. First of all, how did all this stuff get everywhere? Did you flip out or are you just clumsy? Are you hurt? Are you breathing alri—” 

“Why do you have this, Dirk?” she interjects. 

“Let me finish. I can explain.”

“Oh can you now?” She is mad at you. Crap, why did this have to happen? If life had an undo button…

“Remember undyingUmbrage?”

“Of course.”

“He asked me to draw it. Well, more like ‘challenged’ me. I couldn’t back away from his challenge. It’s a guy thing. He slowly listed pairings of you, Jake, Roxy, and I and had me draw different scenarios. It started off really kind of innocent. Just kissing and talking and such. I thought it would stay that way, but as the challenges came, he asked for more and more. Before you know it, I had to draw some pretty erotic stuff. I’m sorry Jane. I don’t mean to offend you and I sure as fuck didn’t want to creep you out.” You look at her, waiting for a response of some sort. She takes a while to think.

“I can’t believe you would just agree to draw this.”

“It was a challenge, Jane. A challenge.” She looks around and starts picking up all the things she dropped, putting them all back in their places—including the porn. She walks past you and out your bedroom door, closing you in when she shuts the door. A few minutes pass and she returns with 2 mugs of tea.

“Come on. Lets get back to work.” Any normal person would think she was being cold and distant, but something says to you that she is thinking really hard right now, so you don’t try to talk to her too much.

The two of you build another robot, bake another cake, drink your tea. You barely talk and before you realize what is happening, 3 hours pass. It is now a bit past 4 and, since it is winter, the sun is just beginning to change the colors of the sky from bright blue to pink and orange shades. 

Jane suggests starting dinner because she has a meal planned but it takes a while to make/cook. You do that and, still, barely speak. You hope she will still sleep over. Since you live so far away from her, she said she would like to sleep over for about a week to hang out and so that she wouldn’t be driving back to Washington so quickly. That might not happen now, since she might consider you an awful person now. 

Dinner is in the over and cooking. Shepherds pie is what you are making. It has peas, carrots, corn, and ground beef, topped with a layer of mashed potatoes and cheese covered in gravy. It has pretty much every food group, so it is a good meal to eat when making up for malnutrition. At least she still cares that much. 

When you think you are headed back to building, Jane walks right past that door and heads to your room. Oh no.

She enters and sits down on your bed, patting a spot next to her for you to sit. You plop down where she advised and wait through the awkward silence until she says something. 

“About that…’art,’” she starts. Oh great. “while drawing it, how did you feel.”

You look at her, almost confused. “How did I feel?” you clarify. 

“Yes. Umm, like, what were you thinking? Were you like ‘eww why do I have to do this?’ or like ‘meh who cares, it’s not my idea’ or like ‘man I am so turned on by this’?” She imitates heavy breathing is what you guess is supposed to be a masculine tone. 

You sort of snort/chuckle and look down. You don’t know how to respond.

“…Dirk?” Jane looks at you and sees you blushing—while breathing nervously—and if you were weaker, you may have even been crying. You’ve never been in a situation like this. “Dirk! Please, calm down. Oh no, I didn’t mean to strike a nerve. I should never have asked. I shouldn’t have seen those pictures. I shouldn’t have made a big deal of it. I am so sorry. Dirk, please.” 

You just kind of look at her and try to smile and say it’s no big deal, but you can’t. You don’t want her leaving thinking you are a creep who gets off on porn of her and has such a bad problem that he can’t admit it. You need to explain. Maybe it’s even time for you to tell her how you feel about her so that she may understand more. 

You take a deep breath, and look at Jane. “How do I explain this without sounding stupid or like the world’s biggest cheese ball? Haha, man. I don’t know…” you trail off. 

“Just talk to me, Dirk.” She offers an encouraging smile. 

“Ugh…I didn’t really feel any of the things you described. I mean, don’t get me wrong. You are quite attractive. I’m sure guys would love to jerk off on some quality Jane porn. No, this isn’t where I’m trying to go.” She looks puzzled. “Okay I’m going to sound really creepy and probably bring back bad memories, but remember when you died?” Fuck why did you say that? Jane’s eyes widen and she nods, a bit scared. “I’m sorry. Fuck. Remember when I kissed you, you know, to revive you? Well lets say that wasn’t an unenjoyable scenario for me? Wow that is not saying what I want it to. Uhh, crap.” She looks at you like you are crazy. 

“Dirk Strider, are you trying to say you have a little crush on me, and that the porn you ‘were forced to draw’ wasn’t disturbing to you?” 

You wish this was a movie or an anime or something so you could just kiss her and she would understand and all would be right in your life. Sadly, if you did that, it would probably end badly, so you end up looking down like a 6 year old boy and whispering yes. 

“I…wow. I always thought you were gay, considering the whole Jake ordeal and that you never seems to show interest in any women.”

You look up in a panic and start talking. “Shit, no. Jake is a pal and all but me liking him was really just the auto responder blowing things up. I care about him, but not that much. Wow I can’t believe we are still having misunderstandings about that.” She looks almost relieved. 

“Oh.”

“Yeah…”

The two of you sit there, awkwardly, for a while. You don’t know how to make the situation better. You guess there isn’t much to lose now.

“So now that you know, what do you intend to do with that information? Are you going to use it against me, because I’ll tell you now that it won’t work as blackmail. Are you going to stop talking to me? Do you think I’m a creep who you should not be hanging around with now?” 

“What? No! Why would I do or think any of those things! Dirk, you are a good friend of mine. I guess…I would say—if you really like me—maybe we could give being in a relationship a shot. Of course, that doesn’t mean I’m ok with these drawings!”

Your jaw is practically on the floor. “What, no. I drew those years ago when we first started talking to uu and Calliope. It’s all in the past now. But, are you serious about dating me?”

“Of course.”

“But it’ll end up long distance and then we won’t be able to do couple-y things and go on dates.”

“I’m fine with that.” You hope you don’t look as astonished as you feel, because you are pretty fucking astonished right now. You lean close to her and wrap your arms around her, careful to only squeeze just enough. You are stronger than you look. She hugs you back and tucks her head into the crook of your neck. You simply couldn’t be happier. 

The day goes on with you being all smiley for the first time and she blushes every time she looks at you and smiles back. You eat dinner and set up a couch-bed for Jane. You pull out a movie Jake recommended—deeming it destined to be hilarious—and sit down with Jane and watch it. It turns out to be a romantic movie and the acting turns out to be adequate, surprisingly enough. It turns out to set up a romantic mood for the two of you and you sit there cuddling for a while. It ends with a wedding and you kiss Jane’s forehead when they kiss in the church. She looks at you and smiles and pulls you into a real kiss. You would react and be surprised if you weren’t so into it. She is actually an amazing kisser and you basically make out for 5 minutes straight. Of course, she pulls away, completely flushed. You laugh and hold her and the two of you fall asleep there, together. 

When you wake up, she is still in your arms and it is an amazing feeling. When she wakes up, you kiss her cheek and she nearly flips out and blushed like crazy. She gasps, remembering yesterday and the laughs a bit. When you finally get up, you make french toast and bacon and lemonade. This is going to be the best week of your life. 

WOW THAT TOOK WAY LONGER TO WRITE THAN I THOUGHT!!! I am so so so sorry guys! I didn’t mean to keep you waiting so long (and I even lost 2 followers in that time ;A;) but here it is. All done! I hope you like it and I hope I get more time to post more often from now on.